Fred Swain: A smart, funny, self absorbed Father, Husband, Sports Fan, History Buff, (Actully, I have a piece of paper from a degree granting institution but hope to soon qualify for "buff" status with only 72 more hours of The History Channel to go) and Marketer Extraordinaire! His Turn-Ons Include: Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain His Turn-Offs Include: People who are fake or self absorbed