I am old, fat and have hair on almost all of my body except for a 3 inch diameter crop circle on the top of my head. Much to my beautiful wife’s chagrin, I fart in increasingly inappropriate places and have been known to giggle uncontrollably when it happens. The wife walks away shaking her head and mumbling something that sounds an awful lot like “shit head”, but I digress. I have 5 great kids (2 boys and 3 girls) ranging in age from 9 years to 10 months old. This should end up being the bulk of my source material. My boys have decided that if I were a Star Wars character, I would be BOBA FATT. Funny. I’ll remember that when they need something like a car or a kidney. They are good, well adjusted kids, despite me telling them that life is nothing but a series of disappointments. I often threaten to get in shape. My home gym equipment surprisingly is not at all threatened by this idea, as it knows me too well. I feel that salt should be a major part of the food pyramid and I could live on nothing but pizza (provided it’s not from Papa Domino Hut), and Yuengling.