Archive for December, 2010

The War on Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice Tree Farm

Winter Solstice Tree Farm

So, the wife and I went to find our Winter Solstice Tree this year. It was wonderful. We found the perfect tree, and being thankful to Saturn, I was able to cut it down with little difficulty. It was a wonderful experience. Until I went to pay the good owner of the Winter Solstice Tree Farm (which he had, of course, re-labeled as his “Christmas Tree Farm”). As I paid, he said, “Merry Christmas”. I paused. I was infuriated. And as politely as I could, I said, “Don’t you mean ‘Happy Winter Solstice’?” Based on the look on his face, I might as well have told him I drink human blood. He had no idea what I was talking about. It shows you how oppressed the real “Reason for the Season” has become. When people who provide such a patently Pagan service forget where their tradition really came from, you know our way of life is under attack this time of year. Our more Pagan traditions, such as Christmas trees, ‘ol Saint Nick, hanging mistletoe, time with family, gift-giving, and having feasts, are being oppressed by Christians everywhere.

It started back with the Roman Empire, you know, and continues today. The oppression of our Pagan traditions has been happening for centuries. I mean, let’s not forget that ”Christmas” (I shudder to use that term, dear reader, but I’ll use it because it’s a term familiar to you), was “incorporated” into the Pagan Winter Solstice festivals by the post-Constantinian Roman Empire, as the Roman Empire moved across the globe. Let’s also not forget that the Puritans in America, in the 1600′s banned the yuletide celebration altogether, since they couldn’t find any scriptural proof for it.

Yes, what we now call “Christmas” has a long history that pre-dates Christianity. But, of course, Christians have to put their stamp on everything. “Jesus is the reason for the season.” Is it? I mean, he wasn’t even born in December. How can the days of the Roman Winter Solstice also be the birthday of Jesus? In fact, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, worldwide, the Winter Solstice was celebrated by many humans worldwide.

And let’s not forget about those god damned Atheists, who want to throw out Winter Solstice altogether. I mean, what right do they have to celebrate Winter Solstice? I’m sure they just think that this time of year is just about science or some crap like that.

Some would say that because the days around Winter Solstice are celebrated by so many people, and therefore can be celebrated in whatever way you see fit, that there shouldn’t be any hub-bub about it. They say we shouldn’t get caught up in the petty bullshit labels that divide us, and relax. It’s a time to “be good to your fellow man,” or whatever. They argue that no matter what anyone calls it, “Winter Solstice”, “The Holidays”, or “Christmas”, anyone can celebrate the universal ideas of giving and time with family. They say that if you want to have Jesus in your Winter Solstice celebration, who cares whether some store uses the phrase “Happy Holidays”, or ”Seasons Greetings”. And they say what difference does it make if the company you work for renames their yearly Winter Solstice Celebration Party to “Holiday Party” instead of “Christmas Party”? It’s still the same fucking lame-ass party. If you want “Jesus” to be part of your Christmas, then who’s stopping you? If you want to dress up as Jesus and run around saying “Happy Birthday to me!” and that enhances your Christmas, you certainly have that right. I’ll keep my mouth shut.

But when the shoe’s on the other foot, and someone else wants to celebrate a more secular Christmas, then that should not offend any Christian, because Christmas traditions are for the most part private anyway. How does a public proclamation of “Happy Holidays” infringe on any Christians rights? I’m not making the connection.

The next time the store Target changes their sign from “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays”, think of two things:

  1. Just think about how we Pagans feel.
  2. When was the last time you celebrated Christ’s birth at a Target?

[Image credit: flickr]

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How Weight Watchers Changed My Life

So fellas, what was your first impression of the title? Did you call me derogatory names? Did you laugh? Why is Bryan talking about meetings of overweight women in spandex and over-sized shirts?

If that’s what you think Weight Watchers is, you should listen up, because when a man of my level of skepticism shows up to praise something I have to spend money on, you might want to pay attention.

I have chronic back problems, specifically Degenerative Disk Disease, and about once a year or so, I have a relapse of pain that likes to remind me of this condition, hence the word “chronic”.

In 2003, during one of these relapses, I had decided that enough was enough. I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life at 216 pounds (which is heavy for a guy at 5’8″), and I had known that there is a correlation between weight and back pain. As a matter-of-fact, I had a doctor tell me that there were 3 things I could do to minimize or prevent these chronic back problems:

  1. Keep my weight under 185.
  2. Exercise and strengthen the core and back muscles to provide support.
  3. Stop smoking cigars and drinking.

Well, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

A doctor once told me also that excessive weight means that you might as well be carrying an extra sack of potatoes around 24-7.

I needed to do something fast. I thought about what would be the best way to lose weight. Here it is. You ready?

  1. Eat healthy
  2. Exercise

That’s it. That’s what you need to do. Easier said than done right?

I needed to come up with a plan, either one that I devised (I am not a dietitian), or I would follow some program. I had 3 criteria:

  1. Structure. I grew up in a family where food was important. This is not a critique of my family. Americans in general have an obsession with food, but that’s a different blog post. I had let my over-eating take control and I needed something to help me reign it in.
  2. Simplicity. I have better things to do with my time and brain-power than memorize which fucking food has too much starch, carbs, sugar, fat, fiber, hydrogenated oil, “good fat”, “bad fat”, cholesterol, salt, enzymes, fungus, urine, rat feces or whatever some fad diet tells me I have to or can’t eat.
  3. Permanence. The plan had to be something that I could follow for the rest of my life, not something that I follow for 3 months and then abandon.
  4. Power. I want to continue to eat foods that I want to eat.

Looking at my options, and with a little help from my beautiful wife, I joined Weight Watchers in March of 2003. Since then I have lost 36 pounds and with very little variance have kept it off.

Recently, the Weight Watchers program has placed even more of an emphasis on exercise.

It’s the only weight program I can think of that let’s you eat anything you want, you simply have to limit how much of it you eat. It’s portion control. And it works.

The way I think of Weight Watchers is that it basically puts you onto a food budget. Want to eat steak? You got it. Ice Cream? You got it. You just have to plan for it.

And, no more back pain.

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