This One Time at Band Camp…

I don’t know about you – Hell, I don’t even know you anymore, but everywhere I turn movie lines have entered the lexicon of my life.   Whether I’m at work, the coffee shop,  at home with the kids or even after a fancy dinner with the wife I cannot avoid the influence of movie-speak.

It’s like an offer I can’t refuse, no matter what happens in life there’s a line or two…

• Getting coffee? “I take it black, like my men.” (Airplane)
• Something goes wrong? “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!” (Airplane)
• Something goes right? “It’s good to be the king.” (History of the World, Part 1)
• Someone laughs at your expense? “I’m Funny How? Funny, like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fucking amuse you?” (Goodfellas)
• Somebody does something stupid or good? “Way to go Hamilton!” (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)
• Kids crying? “There’s no crying in baseball!” (A League of their Own)
• Golfing? “Cinderella story, from outta nowhere, here at Augusta, about to be the Masters champion.” (Caddyshack)
• Really want to know something? “What’s in the box? What’s in the box? C’mon, tell me, what’s in the fucking box?” (Seven)
• See someone you know in a crowd? “I know that dude – he used to work at All-American Burger!” (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)
• Trying to motivate someone to keep going? “Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” (Animal House)
• Have to take something from your pocket and want to announce it? “Excuse me while I whip this out.” (Blazing Saddles)
• Out to dinner and someone announces they are full? “How about a wafer thin mint?” (Monty Python – The Meaning of Life)
• Trying to divest yourself of a problem (Pass the buck…)? Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.” (Batman – The Movie)
• Get hurt? “It’s just a flesh wound.” (Monty Python and The Holy Grail)
• Someone ask about your weekend plans? “Actually it’s a nice little Saturday, we’re gonna go to the Home Depot, yeah check out some wall paper maybe some flooring, maybe even a little Bed, Bath and Beyond, if we have enough time” (Old School)

These are just a sampling of my favorites and also aren’t meant to be anatomically correct since over the years some of my words may morph but you get the idea.

Anyway, I could keep going but while I was spouting these off in no particular order I heard shots fired and while I tried to count them I lost track and now I have to ask myself one question, do I feel lucky?  Post your faves in the comments.

PS – Just left a meeting discussing our company picnic and got to whip out a favorite, “How much for just one rib?” (I’m Gonna Get You Sucka!”)’s_100_Years…_100_Movie_Quotes


  1. while in the men’s room: “Your balls are showing.” (Ace Ventura 2)

    when leaving the bathroom: “Do NOT go in there. WOOOOOOOO!!” (Ace Ventura)

    when asked at a company training seminar to give brief description of myself: “Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear. WHen I do, it’s usually something special” (Stripes – yes, I really said it in front of 10 co-workers, some of whom I knew only casually, and the guy running the seminar)

    Chuck – why did you just copy one of Fred’s suggestions? “You are one pathetic loser.” (Dumb and Dumber) HA!!!

  2. When someone makes a suggestion…

    “No!… that’s just what they’ll be expecting us to do!” Robert Stack – Airplane

  3. Can’t believe I left off all the Blues Bros quotes I use…

    We’re on a mission from God

    And it’s ladies night…tonight

    Did you get my cheese whiz, boy?

    There was an earthquake, a fire, a flood. I locked my keys in the car…etc

    Orange Whip? Orange Whip? 3 Orange Whips.

    Have you Seen the light? The Band! The Band – Elwood We’re getting the band back together!

  4. Awesome post! It is both a gift and a curse to pretty much only speak in movie quotes.

    It’s pouring outside… “I don’t think the heavy stuff is gonna come down for some time now” (Caddy Shack)

    You’re watching a baseball game, your closer comes in to save the game… “Forget the curveball Ricky, give ’em the heeeeter” (Major League)

    Packing for a trip and all of your shit won’t fit… “We’re gonna need a bigger boat” (Jaws)

    You’re hungry… “Two pieces of white toast… 4 whole fried chickens and a coke” (Blues Brothers)

    Your buddy has had too much to drink and you just want to give him that little nudge… “How about a nice greasy pork roll sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?” (Wierd Science)

    Which reminds me; “Any one with a name like Chet s’got to be a asshole”

    Sometimes it is just the mention of a word:
    License=”He ain’t even got his license Lisa” (Wierd Science)
    Italy=”Welcome to It-ly boys” (Stripes)
    Telephone=”Man what’s this guy talkin’ ’bout a telephone, of course a telephone was involved”
    Pizza=”Doctor says I swallow a lot of aggression; and a lot of pizzas” (Stripes)

    So many more to come…

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