“Karma” Sutra

Or…Remember, what goes around comes around and you’ll always get yours in the end!

I’ve done some bad stuff in my life, probably no more than the guy next to me if I wasn’t alone in my office – but you get the point. As a matter of fact, a reader or two may have witnessed some of the more benign bad stuff, but I digress…

My focus today is the art of
Boy Meets Girl
Girl Irritates Boy
Boy Runs From Girl, FAST…

Prior to getting married I was a bad breaker-upper (BBU), I admit it. I once had a friend drop me off at a GF’s house told him to drive around the block and pick me up. When he came back around I broke up with her and told her I couldn’t talk anymore because my buddy was back, I got in the car and never looked back. At least that was in person, IM (√), Email (√), Phone (√), Friend pretending to be me on the phone (√, √) – Texting to break up is post single life for me but I can imagine I’d have done it.
(cnt stnd u no more – i m out – cya)

The point of all of this rambling is this – A lot of people I talk to say that “having a little girl is retribution for all the girls you’ve wronged in your life.” I’ve broken up with a lot of girls, poorly in some cases, and now I have a daughter and I don’t want the fate of those girls to befall her.

Some quotes from friends and their husbands:

Friend A: “We have four daughters [my husband] must have been really bad prior to me”
Husband: [Above the barely audible sobbing and sniffing] “Yup 4 girls and the oldest is twelve. Where can I buy a chastity belt?”

Friend B: “3 girls and counting…”
Husband: “WTF did I do wrong?”

I’m not saying that I or any of these fine gentlemen are complaining or have regrets about having a daughter, we all love them dearly. It’s just the fact that we know what is in store for them – teenage boys. My little girl just turned one and my hair gets grayer each day she inches toward young-lady-hood. She’s become a symbol to me – love, life and dread. After having two boys I thought I was in the clear but I must have pissed off Mighty Aphrodite too much with that last IM break up because my wife and I got the girl on the last shot.

What am I to do?

Bitch and moan for the next 20 years? Probably, but it won’t do any good.

Lock her in her room as soon as she turns 10? No, my wife won’t let me.

Train my boys as an elite, two-man paramilitary squad to protect her and hunt down those who would hurt her? Maybe, but probably not since that might be misconstrued somehow…

Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong – maybe since I was a BBU, my cross to bear is my boys.

Maybe my penance is to train them to be more sensitive to the wants and needs of women and not break hearts.

Maybe if I do that my fears with raising a girl will all be unfounded.


On second thought, Anyone know where can I learn more about paramilitary training?