Archive for June 1st, 2009

Death and Comics

As this is my first post, let me take it as an opportunity for some quick back story, like most of the first of any series of a new comic book movie launch. I am a geek, I’ve been a geek my whole life and once I reached the age of reason I realized that this was not something to be ashamed of, but something to wear as a badge of honor. I am a geek and a freak and I still truly believe that if there were more of us in this world that it would be a much happier and understanding place. I’ve stepped off my soapbox now in case you were wondering.

One of the few hobbies that I have and have been able to hold onto since the birth of my son is reading comics. Let me premise this by saying I am a DC man. I read a lot of Marvel when I was younger, but for whatever reason I am now mostly a DC man. My current titles are Justice League of America, Batman, Superman/Batman, and Super Friends for my son. Some parents force their kids into sports, me, just comics. Can I be called a stage dad for that?
As it is one of my few “my time” activities and seeing as how I am a self-proclaimed geek, I take it more seriously that I probably should. That being said, I am sick of major characters being killed off and then, inevitably, being brought back. Superman being killed off in 1992, Superman #75, was awesome. I still remember standing outside the comic book store waiting to pick up a copy, it was all over the national news. I still read it every once in awhile. The apparent death of Green Arrow is another example. To a lesser extent, Hal Jordan turning to the dark side and then coming back and finally, we are dealing with the “death” of Bruce Wayne, the Batman. This story is being told over multiple titles, another personal annoyance, rather than one title, and he will undoubtedly be brought back. The visual of Batman killing Darkseid and his lifeless body being held by Superman was striking, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was being tricked again. It was another rich ending to sell some comics that would eventually be flipped around to put everything back where it should be. I am starting to feel like I am watching a soap opera. Maybe it was Bruce’s cousin’s sister’s son’s friend who was killed. I have had enough.

deathbat

I am a lunatic, I get that, but I take this stuff to heart. In addition to that, I am an absolutist – dead is dead. When you know no matter what that the good guys win and they always come back to life after the bad guy gets them, it takes away from any drama leading up to the climactic moment. Its like knowing the end to the movie, knowing who Keyser Soze is before you watch The Usual Suspects. It takes the fun away and you can still have fun when you are all grown up. Another lunatic once told me years ago during my serious phase, “Shawn, you are going to be an adult for the rest of you life, you should be a kid as long as you can.” All that being said, I’ll be back at the store next week picking up a few more things to read.

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“Karma” Sutra

Or…Remember, what goes around comes around and you’ll always get yours in the end!

I’ve done some bad stuff in my life, probably no more than the guy next to me if I wasn’t alone in my office – but you get the point. As a matter of fact, a reader or two may have witnessed some of the more benign bad stuff, but I digress…

My focus today is the art of
Boy Meets Girl
Girl Irritates Boy
Boy Runs From Girl, FAST…

Prior to getting married I was a bad breaker-upper (BBU), I admit it. I once had a friend drop me off at a GF’s house told him to drive around the block and pick me up. When he came back around I broke up with her and told her I couldn’t talk anymore because my buddy was back, I got in the car and never looked back. At least that was in person, IM (√), Email (√), Phone (√), Friend pretending to be me on the phone (√, √) – Texting to break up is post single life for me but I can imagine I’d have done it.
(cnt stnd u no more – i m out – cya)

The point of all of this rambling is this – A lot of people I talk to say that “having a little girl is retribution for all the girls you’ve wronged in your life.” I’ve broken up with a lot of girls, poorly in some cases, and now I have a daughter and I don’t want the fate of those girls to befall her.

Some quotes from friends and their husbands:

Friend A: “We have four daughters [my husband] must have been really bad prior to me”
Husband: [Above the barely audible sobbing and sniffing] “Yup 4 girls and the oldest is twelve. Where can I buy a chastity belt?”

Friend B: “3 girls and counting…”
Husband: “WTF did I do wrong?”

I’m not saying that I or any of these fine gentlemen are complaining or have regrets about having a daughter, we all love them dearly. It’s just the fact that we know what is in store for them – teenage boys. My little girl just turned one and my hair gets grayer each day she inches toward young-lady-hood. She’s become a symbol to me – love, life and dread. After having two boys I thought I was in the clear but I must have pissed off Mighty Aphrodite too much with that last IM break up because my wife and I got the girl on the last shot.

What am I to do?

Bitch and moan for the next 20 years? Probably, but it won’t do any good.

Lock her in her room as soon as she turns 10? No, my wife won’t let me.

Train my boys as an elite, two-man paramilitary squad to protect her and hunt down those who would hurt her? Maybe, but probably not since that might be misconstrued somehow…

Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong – maybe since I was a BBU, my cross to bear is my boys.

Maybe my penance is to train them to be more sensitive to the wants and needs of women and not break hearts.

Maybe if I do that my fears with raising a girl will all be unfounded.

Maybe…Maybe…Maybe

On second thought, Anyone know where can I learn more about paramilitary training?

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Hello Unsuspecting World!

Release the hounds!

Guys Up A Creek welcomes you

Guys Up A Creek welcomes you

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